On the crowded Southbound bus, we were the only two people who requested a stop at the Maya Center Village. As it turns out, we were the only two people who were visiting the entire town. That suited us just fine – after three days of lounging on the beach, we had wanted an intrepid leg of the trip to improve our travel street cred. Our plan? To march through the Cockscomb Basin Jaguar Preserve. Twice. Once during the day, and again at night, when a different set of crawlies and beasties come out. Because we were arriving in the afternoon, we actually did the evening tour first.
With nothing but our flashlights and our Mopan Mayan guide, we spent two hours hiking through the trail. We crept in silence, straining to listen for the slightest movements –a rustling in the bushes, the whisper of the tree branches above. Although we could not see much, there was ample evidence that we were not alone in the forest. Some of the interesting things we lucky enough to catch were some nocturnal pigeons (just as dumb as their circadian brethren), a kinkajou leaping through the treetops, a dizzying queue of leafcutter ants which stretched for several meters, leftover nutshells from wild boars, and the proverbial jackpot: a fresh pair of jaguar paw prints from an adult female and her young cub. At one point during our walk, our fearless guide suddenly slammed his palm onto a log. He emerged with a coral snake slithering in his hands - yes, a “red and yellow, kill a fellow” snake. That's a level of badassery that deserves its own special category. By the time we returned to our hotel room, we were feeling pretty pumped up. That is, until we noticed an unexpected visitor in our room:
It's one thing to pay to see potentially dangerous animals in their natural habitat, it's another thing entirely to see one suspended inches above where you planned to sleep. Our immediate feelings were a healthy level of shock, followed by a less natural feeling of bemusement. After assessing the situation, Zack ripped off his boot and heaved it at the wall, knocking most of the scorpion off the wall behind the bed (I say “most of,” because various parts of it were still stuck... I leave that to your imagination). We hadn't had 30 seconds to catch our breath when a tail-less scorpion emerged from under the bed, scurrying wildly along the floor. Wide-eyed, I screamed, “IT'S NOT DEAD! IT'S NOT DEAD!” It was headed directly towards me, so I was yelling more to myself than anything. Since I was perched over the bed, I had the most optimal angle. Lifting my hiking boot into the air, I waited until it skittered directly underneath its sole and let gravity do its work. There was a satisfying thud and subsequent crunch. Direct hit. Tentatively I lifted my boot, only to find the thing feebly skittering around, refusing to die. Stubborn bastard. By that point, Zack had retrieved his boot from behind the bed and put an end to it once and for all. My hero.
Needless to say, that night we took the extra time to hang the mosquito net, AKA the “scorpion guard.” Additionally, we safeguarded ourselves by zipping up all our luggage, putting our shoes in bags, etc - not that it would have done much good, considering these scorpions seemed to have Wolverine-level healing powers.
The next morning, we casually mentioned to the owner that a large scorpion had somehow made it into our room. Unfazed, she shrugged and smiled. “It would hurt you, but it wouldn't kill you.” She seemed completely unperturbed by the incident, and it probably at that exact moment that we had our Avatar “You're not in Kansas anymore” moment. At any reputable hotel or guesthouse in the US, a poisonous pest in the room would have triggered a wave of obsequious apologies directly from the manager, empty promises of immediate action, comp'd rooms, free breakfasts, a voucher for a future stay – just some good, old-fashioned American ass-kissing. Here, apparently anything less than death is not a cause for immediate concern. Oddly enough, that experience only added to our stay. It was terrifying, but also kind of charming. Welcome to Belize.
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